Mums with similar levels of neuroticism as their child might get along better with each other

Mums who share similar levels of neuroticism as their child could see benefits during the early years, including getting along better with each other. 

The new study of 4,000 mums, partners, and children has found that similarities in neuroticism between mums and their children could positively benefit their relationship during the early years leading to greater enjoyment and turning the negative stereotypes of this personality trait on its head. 

The large-scale study led by Manchester Metropolitan University, which was published in Scientific Reports, investigated how similarities in personality traits, in particular genetically inherited aspects of neuroticism in mums, can influence the quality of relationship with their child (aged 0-3 years) or partner.

People with neuroticism have a natural tendency to be more emotionally sensitive and responsive but it has also been linked with having more empathy.

Using data from the Children of the 90s study, findings suggest that mums who have similar levels of genetic tendency for neuroticism to their child may have a head start in connecting with and understanding the emotional signals of their child. 

These mums reported having a higher enjoyment from their relationship in the early years with this association found to be strongest between mums and sons. 

In contrast, mums who have different levels of genetic tendency for neuroticism to their child are less likely to see eye to eye and could need more of a helping hand with understanding the emotional signals of their child.

Rebecca Pearson, Professor of Developmental Psychology and Epidemiology at Manchester Met’s Institute for Children’s Futures, said: “In developmental science, we often look for ‘warmth’ or ‘positive emotions’ as ingredients of strong relationships, but our work with families consistently pointed towards different elements of connection, and wanting to feel understood.

“The results provide intriguing hints as to how we should look at combinations of genetic profiles and how connections between people are more than the characteristics of the individuals alone. Also, a tendency to be more emotionally sensitive and experience ‘negative’ emotions is not necessarily a bad thing, it can be a core ingredient in shared emotional understanding. 

“Of course, though, there is much more work to be done to understand the infinite combinations of characteristics of parents and children and how they develop together beyond the early years including how sometimes differences in emotional response might evolve into joint learning that could build even stronger connections in later life.”

The study also revealed how genetic similarities in neuroticism between mums and their partners was linked to greater enjoyment in the relationships between both mums and their child, and mums and their partner, emphasising the importance of relationships across all family members.

Having the knowledge of personality trait differences and understanding that their child’s emotional responses might be different to their own could give mums more confidence when parenting, in particular for those who struggle with understanding the emotional signals of their children. 

Ultimately, this could allow a greater level of enjoyment in parent-child relationships which has been linked to longer term outcomes including how loved the child felt retrospectively as an adult.

Read the full study The proportion of genetic similarity for liability for neuroticism in mother–child and mother–father dyads is associated with reported relationship quality